Feelings useless just over 30, or, looking for a job being over 30

Who knows me, knows how much time did I invest in my job in the last years. No evenings at home, no week ends, and this year no holidays, too. The projects I am involved in, or my low intelligence level, required so. Almost three months ago I sent my project for revision to my supreme leader. He possibly changed his priorities towards my project, or he never had any, as his necessary revision is not yet on the table. I start to doubt if I will ever get some revision. No revision, no result, time wasted. Nice prospective.

So, I find myself having a lot of boring time to fill up. Writing application letters for new jobs makes this time even worst, as I got no positive answer yet after many (and I mean MANY) CVs sent around the world.

It is terrible to be just above 30 and to feel completely useless for my own and society development. I really envy the previous generation of workers, sitting in the same company for all their life. I know blaming old choices or crying on myself will possibly not solve any problem – but for time to time I need it – before it is too late.