Last week “Friday” issue (the weekend magazine of 20 minutes) revealed (in German only!) how a Swiss girl should behave to successfully approach a boy (oh, yeah!). I translate you the most important points in English, so that even you, passionate non-German speakers, will finally know how to conquer the heart of the Swiss girl of your dreams (or of your one night) !
Below are the translated dating-tips for Swiss girls: read and understand Swiss girls doubts and expectancies and turn any occasion to your favour! In case you need additional help, read below each point the “Lorana Tip for boys” to be a sure winner!
1st “Friday-magazine” Tip for girls. If you don’t like his beard on your skin, either you apply a good cream on your poor scratched body or you tell him immediately to shave.
1st Lorana Tip for boys. She will like every shaving habit of yours after the first time she will meet you…
2nd FTFG. If he drinks green-tea at the first date, forget about it: he will not be good at sex.
2nd LTFB. Well, guys, we know we can drink green tea and be good at sex, don’t we?
3rd FTFG. You should not listen to your ex-boyfriend favourite songs or you will go into depressive mood.
3rd LTFB. We know how to make you forget about all your ex-stuff, baby.
4th FTFG. You should retouch your old pictures on your laptop before showing them to him: white teeth, cool eyes and amazing body!
4th LTFB. Like if photoretouching pictures would complement reality – come on, no tricks, please – if we did not meet at the pool, it is already a risky business for us, nowadays.
5th FTFG. You should put order in your flat before inviting him the first time home.
5th LTFB. Baby, we have eyes only for you, your used socks and underwear will anyway disappear from our sights immediately.
6th FTFG. Wait before telling him “I love you“: your life will change!
6th LTFB. You will not manage waiting for too long, babe, but it’s ok.
7th FTFG. Don’t buy sexy underwear, it’s expensive and it is easily damaged in washing machines.
7th LTFB. See point 5.
8th FTFG. Ignore the guy you like when you meet him in a club: just have fun waiting for his move.
8th LTFB. Wait, babe, wait…all night long!
9th FTFG. Which gift should I bring at the first meeting?
9th LTFB. We do not care at all.
11th FTFG. Can my dog sleep with us in my bed?
11th LTFB. WTF???
12th FTFG. Not too much perfume and not too cool dress at the first meeting
12th LTFB. The only point we agree on: we hate parfume and we hate feeling not properly dressed when compared to you.
13th FTFG. It’s not important how much you drink, but what you drink. Prosecco means: I care for money. Champagne means: “Cock me now!”
13th LTFB. Yeah, it’s not important how much you drink, babe, not al all! Beer is good as well 
14th FTFG. Which books should I show in my room library?
14th LTFB. I do not remeber any book of any of the girls I met had in their library – although the light was always on…
15th FTFG. What should I do if he goes on asking me if I already came although I am still far from it?
15th LTFB. I don’t know, baby, I never needed to ask – it was always clear 
So, boys, now you know the weak points of the Swiss girls. With my Italian tips you will become the nightmare of every girl in the canton! Assured!
PS
And point 10th? Oh well it is the most important!
10th FTFG. Should I care as a woman about the incredible amount of BS “Friday” wrote?
10th LTFB. Not at all, be yourself, dear, and let’s have fun!
Discuss Biology
Are You going to run for president?
No thanks, I wrote about having fun, not being surrounded by prostitutes asking for money. I am no as stupid as Your prrresident
You drink green tea?!?!
Of course not
I really like a swiss girl who lives in my colony.She sorta likes me too.How do I ask her out.Any special points to keep in mind..?
Colony? What sort of colony?
Well, I cannot help you, never had a Swiss girl … – but if you believe what that girlie magazine wrote, at least shave and do not drink green tea at the first appointment
Seduce Your Ex tells you exactly what to do and say (in many different situations) to bring your boyfriend back to you.
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